How Does Financial Wounding And Trauma Occur?
Your relationship to money is established between the ages of 0-7 years old
It guides what consistent habits and behaviours you take to make money
It determines what goals you set and what you believe is possible
It contains your money stories, money blocks, beliefs, assumptions and vows
It determines how your body reacts to stress
Ultimately your Mindset determines how much money you will attract, receive and keep
In an ideal world everyone would develop an abundant mindset and be able to keep, receive and attract the money that they need and want, but for 48% of adults have experience an one or more Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE's) and that doesn't include the divorces, redundancies and other financial trauma's that adults face every day...
Which means that most of us have experienced some form of financial wounding or financial trauma
Sometimes, financial wounding can show up in sentences that begin with ‘I am …’, as you can see in this beautiful and eloquent video from Rikke Kjelgaard about how many of us struggle with these thoughts and feelings.
All of these statements impact our sense of power, possibility and potential when we come to take the actions needed to keep, attract and receive money
How Do You Know If You're Financially Wounded?
You'll say things like.....
" There's never enough money, time or energy "
" I don't have what it takes to be successful "
" I'm working really hard and getting nowhere "
" There's something wrong with me "
" I need other people to approve of me "
" I'm not good enough "
" I feel like I don't deserve anything good "
" I'm scared to go after what I want "
" I feel guilty or embarrassed about money "
" I should be better off by now "
Read More About Financial Wounding And Financial Trauma
If Your Bank Account Could Smile: The Benefits Of Growing Your Money Mindset
If Your Bank Account Could Smile: The Benefits of Improving Your Money Mindset
When I started on my journey to improving my finances I had literally NO idea that my thoughts, feelings and emotions about money (my money mindset) was impacting my money habits and creating my empty bank account.
In my experience not much has changed. There are still many people who don’t know that they have a scarcity mindset (thoughts about not having enough money / time) and that they have the ability to grow an abundant mindset. If your bank account could smile, here’s the reasons why it would thank you for growing your money mindset:
1. More Confidence And Gratitude
When you know that you can change and grow your money mindset, you make financial decisions from a place of certainty, confidence and gratitude rather than fear and scarcity. You feel grateful for the life events that you’ve experienced, even when they’ve had big negative financial consequences because you know that life doesn’t happen to you but for you. That every life event (even if it’s painful) is a lesson from which you can grow and make different choices. This confidence empowers you from the inside to create your life based on your values, rather than searching for the feeling from what you consume
2. Less Financial Stress
Debt is a significant source of stress for many people, I remember it well! A healthier money mindset helps you reduce your stress and overwhelm and be more resilient in the face of events that impact your finances (redundancy, illness). Having an abundant mindset gives you a sense of control and optimism about your financial future, even when you can’t see exactly how things are going to work out.
3. More Excitement, Less Motivation
Your mindset shapes your motivation and habits. When you understand how your brain and body work together (your neuro-spiciness) then you stop fighting yourself and trying to be like everyone else. Learning and accepting who you are and what makes you special, means that your mind and body aren’t generating stress and overwhelm. Instead you’re excited and passionate because you want to share your gifts and that change in drive means you’re not pushing yourself to be motivated, your intrinsic excitement helps you build financial habits with ease.
4. Use Your R.A.S To Bring You More Opportunities
If you’ve ever thought the Law of Attraction sounded too woowoo for you, there is some practical neuroscience here. When you get clear on what you want and use visualisation techniques to see yourself achieving the result you want, you’re activating your Reticular Activating System. Ever bought a car thinking it was unique and then after you bought it found lots of people had the same car? That’s your RAS; a bunch of neurons that act as a filter to what you experience. Activating your RAS increases your ability to see the opportunities, interactions and people all around you, waiting for you to take action and make more money.
5. Become More
Ever had the thought that “there must be more than this”? (Or is it just me?) Understanding that you can grow your money mindset means that there are no limits on your goal setting and wealth achievement. It’s simply a case of upgrading your beliefs and identity so that you move towards becoming the wealthy person you want to be. Believing that you can achieve your financial goals encourages you to set more ambitious targets which boosts your overall sense of accomplishment, purpose and self esteem. So the answer is “Yes there is more”!
6. Healthier Relationships
Money is the biggest issue that couples argue over. Growing your money mindset can lead to more open and constructive conversations with partners, family, and friends. When you have an abundant mindset, you won’t be pulled into other people’s scarcity thinking. You’re more able to stay in your power, ask for what you want, listen to other people’s needs and compromise. Meaning you’re building stronger and more resilient relationships with those you love.
7. More choices
Ultimately, a positive money mindset can pave the way to having more choices in life. Whether that’s wanting a better retirement, upgrading your children’s education or being able to leave an abusive marriage. By bringing unconscious beliefs and money blocks into awareness you let go of the fear that there isn’t enough, enabling you to take more confident and focused action-taking towards your dreams. Becoming more abundant in your thinking, means you get to make more choices about how you can live life on your terms.
Conclusion
Growing your money mindset and cultivating a positive, proactive and abundant approach to money isn’t something only certain people can do. If you’d like to experience less stress, develop better habits with money or just want to upgrade your financial life, then book a free Curiosity Call and let’s talk https://serve.heartleader.uk/widget/bookings/30-min-curiosity-call.
Carolyn Whitehouse is a Money Mindset Psychologist and Speaker who over the last 10 years has mentored sensitive and neuro-spicy business owners to understand and grow their personal Money Mindset. Carolyn’s unique Abundance Activator Programme brings confidence and clarity to their money mindset, enabling them to let go of self-doubt, charge their worth and achieve higher levels of success. The best place to find her is on LinkedIn.
How Have I Been Financially Wounded?
It's hard to say how you've been financially wounded because:
It all feels very familiar, these feelings, beliefs, behaviours and perceptions have a long history
The feelings are resistant to change, you can’t talk yourself out of them and no amount of training, hard work and education fixes it
Part of you knows that your feelings are irrational but that doesn’t help
Sometimes it feels as though much younger parts of yourself are ‘driving the bus’ and pulling you in different directions
You keep doing the same unhelpful things, getting the same financial results
If some (or all) of this resonates with you, I might be able to help
You were born to succeed!
If we are loved, valued, and protected as children, we will thrive in all areas of our lives
And these feelings become the foundation of our money mindset
If those qualities are in short supply, we learn quickly to work hard to get what we need....NOT WHAT WE WANT
Even if we grow up in loving homes, we might still get the idea that there is something wrong with us or bad about us. You don’t have to have abusive parents to feel there's something missing but because we only have our own experience to go on, that's our "normal".
Unfortunately, when we grow older and start our own businesses, those same unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviours come with us, whether we need them or not.
Time won't heal the feelings
Eventually, we might realise that something is wrong, when we keep struggling to raise our prices, do our taxes or ask for money. Other people seem to be able to keep, attract or receive more money than we do, and we start to look for ways to feel better
.
When we read business or self-help books, we might be inspired, but nothing changes
Talking about our problems often makes us feel worse
We might understand logically what happened, but that doesn’t seem to help us change who we are or how we feel NOW.
If time hasn’t already healed what is troubling you, more time is probably not going to heal it either.
The way our brains and minds work means that our early financial wounding is likely to affect us financially for years to come. Our old emotional patterns will repeat themselves time after time. Our inner critics will never tire and shame never seems to go away.
That’s not your fault. That’s just what our brains and minds do
.
You have tried to soothe the symptoms. Using TV, social media, eating, drinking, shopping for marketing courses or business coaches, and all the other soothing possibilities we have. The symtoms go away for a while, but they always come back when the soothing wears off.
You could try to avoid the problem, but by doing that your business doesn't grow. If you don’t think about it perhaps it will go away, but everytime you look at your bank account, it's there. Everytime you know you should make a call to a potential client, its there.
To reduce that suffering, you must undo the way your mind and brain created those problems, or they will continue.
The only way to solve the problem is to heal the financial wounding
It's NOT Your Fault!
Many people find it difficult to admit to themselves and others that they are struggling with financial issues. They may even feel ashamed that they have these difficulties or even believe they deserve to suffer.
Feelings of guilt and shame can make it difficult for them to look for help and choose someone to trust with their distress.
Because financial wounding is so long-lasting and pervasive, many people believe there is nothing they can do to change them.
There are good reasons why these kinds of problems are so entrenched and difficult to change. They are part of our body’s and brain’s built-in response to stress.
It’s not our fault; it’s the way we work.
But new therapeutic approaches can help change those responses and ease those problems.
When we can heal this financial wounding/trauma, we can change for the better in ways that we might find hard to imagine.
Are You Ready To Change?
Power
Possibility
Potential
Discover your true power to change your financial health and wellbeing. Claim your self-worth as you meet your financial needs and transform your relationship with money
Discover what is truly possible for you once you release and resolve those life experiences that have overwhelmed, disappointed or hurt you
Feel your motivation, confidence, purpose and focus improve as you begin to build bigger dreams from your clarity, creativity and vision
What Other People Say...
"After the first couple of sessions (all on zoom) I felt a sense of peace and self acceptance that I hadn't for years. My habits and behaviour around money have positively improved but the biggest freedom I feel is a release from past trauma.
I highly recommend starting with a discovery chat with Carolyn - and if you feel the nudge to work with her, follow that instinct and know you will become better equipped with tools and habits to serve you going forward in life.." - Joanne
"I had an illuminating & fun EFT business session with Carolyn - it's amazing how 'simple words' can attach feelings to them that may interfere with our lives (not just in our business). Let's just say - the possibilities have now become a big green tick for the future! Thanks Carolyn." - Chloe
"After experiencing a traumatic incident of my own, Carolyn had me back in a calm and serene state, where I was able to easily control my own emotions again.
If you are someone who has experienced any kind of trauma in your life, I can wholeheartedly recommend Carolyn as the ‘go-to’ expert, who will help you overcome whatever it is you have experienced." - Phil
Carolyn Whitehouse - Financial Psychologist * Budgeting Coach* Speaker * Author
Carolyn Whitehouse is a Financial Psychologist, Budgeting Coach, Speaker and Author who supports ambitious and sensitive business owners to let go of self-doubt, charge their worth and release their fear of money. Carolyn’s heart-led approach combined with her unique Abundance Activator Framework, encourages her clients to discover their values, beliefs and stories around money, whilst releasing their financial wounds and trauma's. Drawing from personal money struggles when starting her own business, Carolyn combines her life-long passion for psychology and economics, with trauma-informed healing techniques, supporting clients in workshops, group programmes and working 1:1. She specialises in bringing order, balance and harmony to your bank account
Rewire Your Money, 17, Castledown Business Park, Tidworth Road, Lugershall, SP11 9AX, United Kingdom
Email: hello@carolynrwhitehouse.com
2024 Carolyn Whitehouse. All Rights Reserved. Do not duplicate or distribute without permission
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