How Does Financial Wounding And Trauma Occur?

Your relationship to money is established between the ages of 0-7 years old

  • It guides what consistent habits and behaviours you take to make money

  • It determines what goals you set and what you believe is possible

  • It contains your money stories, money blocks, beliefs, assumptions and vows

  • It determines how your body reacts to stress

  • Ultimately your Mindset determines how much money you will attract, receive and keep

In an ideal world everyone would develop an abundant mindset and be able to keep, receive and attract the money that they need and want, but for 48% of adults have experience an one or more Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE's) and that doesn't include the divorces, redundancies and other financial trauma's that adults face every day...

Which means that most of us have experienced some form of financial wounding or financial trauma

Sometimes, financial wounding can show up in sentences that begin with ‘I am …’, as you can see in this beautiful and eloquent video from Rikke Kjelgaard about how many of us struggle with these thoughts and feelings.

All of these statements impact our sense of power, possibility and potential when we come to take the actions needed to keep, attract and receive money

How Do You Know If You're Financially Wounded?

You'll say things like.....

  • " There's never enough money, time or energy "

  • " I don't have what it takes to be successful "

  • " I'm working really hard and getting nowhere "

  • " There's something wrong with me "

  • " I need other people to approve of me "

  • " I'm not good enough "

  • " I feel like I don't deserve anything good "

  • " I'm scared to go after what I want "

  • " I feel guilty or embarrassed about money "

  • " I should be better off by now "

Read More About Financial Wounding And Financial Trauma

Is Manifesting Hurting Your Success

Is Manifesting Hurting Your Success

July 29, 20246 min read

Is manifesting hurting your success? Here’s 3 ways to tell

Type “manifesting” into Tiktok and you’ll get videos viewed over 34.6 billion times (May 2023). You don’t need to look far to find celebrities quoting statements like this one below and trying to convince you to buy their manifesting method:

“Remember that your thoughts are the primary cause of everything” (Rhonda Byrne:  The Secret, 2006)

With the number of people desiring success rising (Twenge et. al, 2012), one UK survey estimated that in 2022, 10% of Brits “strongly believed” in manifesting and a further 24% stated that they “somewhat believe”.. In other words manifesting is BIG business, with self help book sales alone worth $10.5 billion worldwide in 2020

Yet according to the United States Census Bureau (2015) success remains elusive for most people and despite all the hype, there is still no scientific evidence of a relationship between manifestation and income or educational achievement (Dixon et.al, 2023). What neuroscience research illustrates is that manifesting rather than getting us to success faster, may be taking us in the opposite direction through increasingly unrealistic expectations, creating false hope and hindering the achievement of our goals (Dixon et.al, 2023)

How is manifesting hurting your success?

  • Overconfidence

We’ve all come across people who are overly confident about achieving high levels of success and yet fail to perform the actions needed (I posted about this in my last newsletter). “Magical thinking” or the belief in “the ability to influence events at a distance with no known physical explanation (Pronin et. al,2006, p.218) causes manifestors to remain confident even if the gap between their goals and their success is enormous (does that sound like gambling to you?). Whilst confidence does have its benefits when pursuing goals, research suggests that manifestors display riskier behaviour due to their inability to delay gratification, are more likely to take risks, have riskier investments and have been made bankrupt more often

  • Creating false hope

In my work I often come across manifestors who insist on believing positive affirmations about their future financial aspirations rather than facing the financial reality they are currently living in. You’ve probably come across the advice of manifesting “experts” to “think of being rich as if it’s a reality” and write your “I’m rich and living my dream life now” statements. Yet the evidence shows that for people with lower self-worth these “positive” affirmations can make things worse not better. In other words, if you’re already feeling unlovable, telling yourself that “I’m worthy of being loved” can make you feel more unlovable, not less.

Research has also found that manifestors are more inclined to believe they can achieve extreme levels of success, hence the explosion of claims that manifesting will bring you a “7 figure income in 6 weeks”.I can’t tell you the number of horror stories I’ve been told by people who believed these manifesting claims, put large amounts of money on a credit card and are now in a worse financial position than they were before. And if I hear another celebrity telling people to invest in themselves “because you’re worth it”, by putting $50,000 on their credit card, I’ll cry.

  • Hinders your goal achievement

Manifestation beliefs rely on the topic of faith and quick reward which is why research shows a strong relationship between manifestation and faith based groups. Yet faith alone isn’t likely to create that healthy bank account that you want and persistence due to faith (“I’m not manifesting because I don’t have enough belief yet”) may actually hinder your ability to take the next step to making your success happen. When faith becomes a replacement for action we can avoid making good decisions  eg. going to the doctors when you find a lump under your arm, which may have serious consequences which no amount of faith can reverse.

Manifestors' perceptions of future success are the very thing that make them more susceptible to believing the claims made by those in the success industry about the likelihood, level and timeframe of future success. The more you give your power away to “external” forces, the more vulnerable you become to negative financial outcomes. Achieving your goals isn’t a simple or quick process, it takes agency, control, self-esteem, emotional regulation, mindset and the ability to delay gratification, in other words, inner work beyond changing your thoughts.

Is manifesting hurting your success? Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Am I financially hurting because I’m paying for a course or programme I’ve put on a credit card

  2. Am I believing that my life will change by telling myself to feel more positive (even when it makes me feel worse)?

  3. Am I relying on faith or a belief instead of taking the next action I need to take?

  4. Am I focused on the end result (earning  $millions, having a beach house, marrying my ideal partner), rather than focusing on the next step in the process (finishing my budget, saving a deposit, getting clear on my values)?

  5. Am I feeling defeated, disappointed or ashamed because I haven’t been able to manifest what I want in the time frame I wanted to?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions then manifesting is hurting you.

Unfortunately if you are someone who believes strongly in manifesting, you’re probably not reading this or you’ll dismiss it (it’s why the claims made by the manifesting “industry” are earning the people involved large amounts of money).

Whether you believe the science or don’t, the key is what works for you. But if manifesting makes you feel worse about yourself, is gettin you into debt or has you doubting yourself because you’re not able to get the results you’ve been promised, there may be some very real scientific reasons why that’s happening.

If you're ready to prime your brain for success, book a free 30 minute curiosity call with me and I’d love to share more tips (all based on science of course)

Carolyn Whitehouse is a Money Psychologist, Coach, Speaker and soon-to-be Author renowned for her expertise in understanding the intricate interplay between psychology and financial decision-making. With an extensive background in both psychology and trauma, Carolyn offers invaluable insights into how individuals perceive, approach, and manage money, empowering them to achieve greater financial well-being. Carolyn helps clients identify and address underlying issues that may hinder their financial success. Whether it's overcoming self-limiting beliefs about money, managing impulsive spending habits, or navigating financial conflicts within relationships. Driven by a passion for helping others achieve financial well-being, Carolyn is committed to demystifying the psychological barriers that often hinder individuals' financial success. Through her work as a Money Psychologist, she strives to empower people to cultivate healthier attitudes towards money, enabling them to lead more fulfilling and prosperous lives.

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How Have I Been Financially Wounded?

It's hard to say how you've been financially wounded because:

It all feels very familiar, these feelings, beliefs, behaviours and perceptions have a long history

The feelings are resistant to change, you can’t talk yourself out of them and no amount of training, hard work and education fixes it

Part of you knows that your feelings are irrational but that doesn’t help

Sometimes it feels as though much younger parts of yourself are ‘driving the bus’ and pulling you in different directions

You keep doing the same unhelpful things, getting the same financial results

If some (or all) of this resonates with you, I might be able to help

You were born to succeed!

If we are loved, valued, and protected as children, we will thrive in all areas of our lives

And these feelings become the foundation of our money mindset

If those qualities are in short supply, we learn quickly to work hard to get what we need....NOT WHAT WE WANT

Even if we grow up in loving homes, we might still get the idea that there is something wrong with us or bad about us. You don’t have to have abusive parents to feel there's something missing but because we only have our own experience to go on, that's our "normal".

Unfortunately, when we grow older and start our own businesses, those same unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviours come with us, whether we need them or not.

Time won't heal the feelings


Eventually, we might realise that something is wrong, when we keep struggling to raise our prices, do our taxes or ask for money. Other people seem to be able to keep, attract or receive more money than we do, and we start to look for ways to feel better

.

When we read business or self-help books, we might be inspired, but nothing changes

Talking about our problems often makes us feel worse

We might understand logically what happened, but that doesn’t seem to help us change who we are or how we feel NOW.

If time hasn’t already healed what is troubling you, more time is probably not going to heal it either.

The way our brains and minds work means that our early financial wounding is likely to affect us financially for years to come. Our old emotional patterns will repeat themselves time after time. Our inner critics will never tire and shame never seems to go away.

That’s not your fault. That’s just what our brains and minds do

.

You have tried to soothe the symptoms. Using TV, social media, eating, drinking, shopping for marketing courses or business coaches, and all the other soothing possibilities we have. The symtoms go away for a while, but they always come back when the soothing wears off.

You could try to avoid the problem, but by doing that your business doesn't grow. If you don’t think about it perhaps it will go away, but everytime you look at your bank account, it's there. Everytime you know you should make a call to a potential client, its there.

To reduce that suffering, you must undo the way your mind and brain created those problems, or they will continue.

The only way to solve the problem is to heal the financial wounding

It's NOT Your Fault!

Many people find it difficult to admit to themselves and others that they are struggling with financial issues. They may even feel ashamed that they have these difficulties or even believe they deserve to suffer.

Feelings of guilt and shame can make it difficult for them to look for help and choose someone to trust with their distress.

Because financial wounding is so long-lasting and pervasive, many people believe there is nothing they can do to change them.

There are good reasons why these kinds of problems are so entrenched and difficult to change. They are part of our body’s and brain’s built-in response to stress.

It’s not our fault; it’s the way we work.

But new therapeutic approaches can help change those responses and ease those problems.

When we can heal this financial wounding/trauma, we can change for the better in ways that we might find hard to imagine.

Are You Ready To Change?

Power

Possibility

Potential

Discover your true power to change your financial health and wellbeing. Claim your self-worth as you meet your financial needs and transform your relationship with money

Discover what is truly possible for you once you release and resolve those life experiences that have overwhelmed, disappointed or hurt you

Feel your motivation, confidence, purpose and focus improve as you begin to build bigger dreams from your clarity, creativity and vision

What Other People Say...

"After the first couple of sessions (all on zoom) I felt a sense of peace and self acceptance that I hadn't for years. My habits and behaviour around money have positively improved but the biggest freedom I feel is a release from past trauma.

I highly recommend starting with a discovery chat with Carolyn - and if you feel the nudge to work with her, follow that instinct and know you will become better equipped with tools and habits to serve you going forward in life.." - Joanne

"I had an illuminating & fun EFT business session with Carolyn - it's amazing how 'simple words' can attach feelings to them that may interfere with our lives (not just in our business). Let's just say - the possibilities have now become a big green tick for the future! Thanks Carolyn." - Chloe

"After experiencing a traumatic incident of my own, Carolyn had me back in a calm and serene state, where I was able to easily control my own emotions again.

If you are someone who has experienced any kind of trauma in your life, I can wholeheartedly recommend Carolyn as the ‘go-to’ expert, who will help you overcome whatever it is you have experienced." - Phil

Carolyn Whitehouse - Financial Psychologist * Budgeting Coach* Speaker * Author

Carolyn Whitehouse is a Financial Psychologist, Budgeting Coach, Speaker and Author who supports ambitious and sensitive business owners to let go of self-doubt, charge their worth and release their fear of money. Carolyn’s heart-led approach combined with her unique Abundance Activator Framework, encourages her clients to discover their values, beliefs and stories around money, whilst releasing their financial wounds and trauma's. Drawing from personal money struggles when starting her own business, Carolyn combines her life-long passion for psychology and economics, with trauma-informed healing techniques, supporting clients in workshops, group programmes and working 1:1. She specialises in bringing order, balance and harmony to your bank account

  • Rewire Your Money, 17, Castledown Business Park, Tidworth Road, Lugershall, SP11 9AX, United Kingdom

  • Email: hello@carolynrwhitehouse.com

  • 2024 Carolyn Whitehouse. All Rights Reserved. Do not duplicate or distribute without permission

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