How Does Financial Wounding And Trauma Occur?
Your relationship to money is established between the ages of 0-7 years old
It guides what consistent habits and behaviours you take to make money
It determines what goals you set and what you believe is possible
It contains your money stories, money blocks, beliefs, assumptions and vows
It determines how your body reacts to stress
Ultimately your Mindset determines how much money you will attract, receive and keep
In an ideal world everyone would develop an abundant mindset and be able to keep, receive and attract the money that they need and want, but for 48% of adults have experience an one or more Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE's) and that doesn't include the divorces, redundancies and other financial trauma's that adults face every day...
Which means that most of us have experienced some form of financial wounding or financial trauma
Sometimes, financial wounding can show up in sentences that begin with ‘I am …’, as you can see in this beautiful and eloquent video from Rikke Kjelgaard about how many of us struggle with these thoughts and feelings.
All of these statements impact our sense of power, possibility and potential when we come to take the actions needed to keep, attract and receive money
How Do You Know If You're Financially Wounded?
You'll say things like.....
" There's never enough money, time or energy "
" I don't have what it takes to be successful "
" I'm working really hard and getting nowhere "
" There's something wrong with me "
" I need other people to approve of me "
" I'm not good enough "
" I feel like I don't deserve anything good "
" I'm scared to go after what I want "
" I feel guilty or embarrassed about money "
" I should be better off by now "
Read More About Financial Wounding And Financial Trauma
The 9 Signs of Financial Trauma: Are You Affected?
Financial trauma is an often overlooked but important aspect of mental health. Defined as a deep emotional wound caused by negative financial experiences, financial trauma can shape how individuals view, handle, and relate to money. Whether it stems from childhood poverty, sudden financial loss, or chronic financial instability, the effects can linger for years, often unnoticed but with significant consequences for your career, relationships and life success.
Here are the key signs to watch for that may indicate you’ve experienced financial trauma—and steps to take toward healing.
1. Emotional Distress Around Money
One of the clearest signs of financial trauma is a strong emotional response when dealing with money-related matters. This isn’t the normal stress of missing a bill or overspending on a credit card, once the bill is paid the anxiety and fear goes away. This is an abnormally high stress response that continues long after the issue has be resolved. This could include:
Anxiety or dread when checking your bank account or opening bills.
Shame or guilt around spending money, even on necessities.
Overwhelm when trying to plan finances or make long-term decisions.
If conversations about money make you feel panicked, frustrated, or defensive, this could indicate unresolved trauma.
2. Avoidance Behaviors
Avoidance is a common coping mechanism for those dealing with financial trauma. It might manifest as:
Ignoring bills or letting them pile up unopened.
Putting off tax filings for your business or financial planning.
Having trouble with marketing, networking or other situtions where you need to show up
Procrastinating on seeking financial advice or addressing debts.
Avoidance provides temporary relief from stress but often exacerbates financial difficulties over time, creating a cycle of stress and avoidance.
3. Chronic Financial Insecurity
Even when financial circumstances improve, people with financial trauma often struggle to feel secure. This sense of insecurity can lead to behaviors such as:
Hoarding money or refusing to spend, even on essential items.
Constantly worrying about "what if" scenarios, regardless of a stable income.
Feeling incapable of enjoying financial success due to fear it will vanish.
This insecurity is rooted in past experiences of scarcity and a deeply ingrained fear of repeating those hardships.
4. Impulsive Financial Decisions
At the opposite end of the spectrum, some individuals cope with financial trauma through impulsive behaviors, such as:
Overspending as a way to regain a sense of control or self-worth.
Making risky financial moves without proper research or planning.
Using retail therapy as an emotional band-aid.
These actions often bring momentary relief but can lead to further financial strain, perpetuating the cycle of trauma.
5. Difficulty Setting Financial Goals
Financial trauma can distort one’s sense of what’s possible, making it challenging to plan for the future. Signs include:
Feeling paralyzed when setting financial goals.
Avoiding discussions about long-term plans like retirement or investments.
Believing that financial stability or success is unattainable for you
This mindset often stems from limiting beliefs instilled by past experiences, such as growing up in poverty or facing repeated financial related setbacks.
6. Relationship Struggles Around Money
Money is one of the leading causes of tension in relationships, and financial trauma can amplify this strain. Common signs include:
Frequent arguments about spending, saving, or financial priorities.
Fear of discussing money with a partner due to embarrassment or conflict.
Withholding financial information or decisions to maintain a sense of control.
For those with financial trauma, money becomes more than a practical matter—it represents safety, power, or even identity.
7. Physical Symptoms of Financial Stress
Financial trauma doesn’t just affect your mind—it can impact your body as well. Physical symptoms might include:
Difficulty sleeping, especially around bill payments or financial discussions.
Headaches, muscle tension, or stomach issues linked to money-related stress.
Chronic fatigue or burnout from overworking to achieve financial stability.
These physical manifestations are a reminder that financial trauma is a real, tangible condition that demands attention.
8. Self-Sabotaging Financial Behaviors
Self-sabotage is a common, though often misunderstood, symptom of financial trauma. Examples include:
Turning down promotions or opportunities out of fear of failure or increased responsibility.
Spending recklessly after achieving a financial milestone, as if to "reset" to a familiar state of struggle.
Relapsing into debt despite having the means to avoid it.
These behaviors often stem from deep-seated beliefs about self-worth and money, which may require professional help to unpack and overcome.
9. Reluctance to Seek Help
A reluctance to seek financial advice or assistance is another hallmark of financial trauma. You might:
Feel embarrassed or unworthy of professional guidance.
Distrust financial institutions or advisors due to past negative experiences.
Believe that no one can truly understand or help with your situation.
This isolation can make recovery harder, as it presents access to tools and resources that could foster financial healing.
How many signs resonated with you?
If one or more of the signs of financial trauma resonated with you, you may be experiencing the effects of financial trauma. The more signs you have the bigger the emotional, physical and financial impact it may be having on your career, relationships and future life success.
Where To From Here?
If these signs resonate with you, please know that financial trauma is not a personal failing, and healing is possible. Here are some steps to take:
1. Acknowledge Your Experience
Understanding that your financial behaviors have roots in past experiences is the first step toward change.
2. Educate Yourself
Gaining financial literacy can empower you to make informed decisions and feel more confident about money management.
3. Build Healthy Habits
Start small by setting manageable financial goals and celebrating your progress, no matter how minor it may seem.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Recognize that financial trauma doesn’t define your worth and that everyone’s journey to financial wellbeing is unique.
Conclusion
Financial trauma is more common than most people realize, and its effects can be deeply ingrained. Recognizing that what you’re experiencing is more than "normal" money stress, is the first step toward reclaiming your financial health and peace of mind. By addressing the emotional roots of your financial struggles and seeking support, you can break free from the past and build a bright financial future for you and your family
To find out more, connect with Carolyn on social media or book your 30 minute Curiosity call: https://serve.heartleader.uk/widget/booking/evxEBMLkHIFuli2LQHqz
How Have I Been Financially Wounded?
It's hard to say how you've been financially wounded because:
It all feels very familiar, these feelings, beliefs, behaviours and perceptions have a long history
The feelings are resistant to change, you can’t talk yourself out of them and no amount of training, hard work and education fixes it
Part of you knows that your feelings are irrational but that doesn’t help
Sometimes it feels as though much younger parts of yourself are ‘driving the bus’ and pulling you in different directions
You keep doing the same unhelpful things, getting the same financial results
If some (or all) of this resonates with you, I might be able to help
You were born to succeed!
If we are loved, valued, and protected as children, we will thrive in all areas of our lives
And these feelings become the foundation of our money mindset
If those qualities are in short supply, we learn quickly to work hard to get what we need....NOT WHAT WE WANT
Even if we grow up in loving homes, we might still get the idea that there is something wrong with us or bad about us. You don’t have to have abusive parents to feel there's something missing but because we only have our own experience to go on, that's our "normal".
Unfortunately, when we grow older and start our own businesses, those same unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviours come with us, whether we need them or not.
Time won't heal the feelings
Eventually, we might realise that something is wrong, when we keep struggling to raise our prices, do our taxes or ask for money. Other people seem to be able to keep, attract or receive more money than we do, and we start to look for ways to feel better
.
When we read business or self-help books, we might be inspired, but nothing changes
Talking about our problems often makes us feel worse
We might understand logically what happened, but that doesn’t seem to help us change who we are or how we feel NOW.
If time hasn’t already healed what is troubling you, more time is probably not going to heal it either.
The way our brains and minds work means that our early financial wounding is likely to affect us financially for years to come. Our old emotional patterns will repeat themselves time after time. Our inner critics will never tire and shame never seems to go away.
That’s not your fault. That’s just what our brains and minds do
.
You have tried to soothe the symptoms. Using TV, social media, eating, drinking, shopping for marketing courses or business coaches, and all the other soothing possibilities we have. The symtoms go away for a while, but they always come back when the soothing wears off.
You could try to avoid the problem, but by doing that your business doesn't grow. If you don’t think about it perhaps it will go away, but everytime you look at your bank account, it's there. Everytime you know you should make a call to a potential client, its there.
To reduce that suffering, you must undo the way your mind and brain created those problems, or they will continue.
The only way to solve the problem is to heal the financial wounding
It's NOT Your Fault!
Many people find it difficult to admit to themselves and others that they are struggling with financial issues. They may even feel ashamed that they have these difficulties or even believe they deserve to suffer.
Feelings of guilt and shame can make it difficult for them to look for help and choose someone to trust with their distress.
Because financial wounding is so long-lasting and pervasive, many people believe there is nothing they can do to change them.
There are good reasons why these kinds of problems are so entrenched and difficult to change. They are part of our body’s and brain’s built-in response to stress.
It’s not our fault; it’s the way we work.
But new therapeutic approaches can help change those responses and ease those problems.
When we can heal this financial wounding/trauma, we can change for the better in ways that we might find hard to imagine.
Are You Ready To Change?
Power
Possibility
Potential
Discover your true power to change your financial health and wellbeing. Claim your self-worth as you meet your financial needs and transform your relationship with money
Discover what is truly possible for you once you release and resolve those life experiences that have overwhelmed, disappointed or hurt you
Feel your motivation, confidence, purpose and focus improve as you begin to build bigger dreams from your clarity, creativity and vision
What Other People Say...
"After the first couple of sessions (all on zoom) I felt a sense of peace and self acceptance that I hadn't for years. My habits and behaviour around money have positively improved but the biggest freedom I feel is a release from past trauma.
I highly recommend starting with a discovery chat with Carolyn - and if you feel the nudge to work with her, follow that instinct and know you will become better equipped with tools and habits to serve you going forward in life.." - Joanne
"I had an illuminating & fun EFT business session with Carolyn - it's amazing how 'simple words' can attach feelings to them that may interfere with our lives (not just in our business). Let's just say - the possibilities have now become a big green tick for the future! Thanks Carolyn." - Chloe
"After experiencing a traumatic incident of my own, Carolyn had me back in a calm and serene state, where I was able to easily control my own emotions again.
If you are someone who has experienced any kind of trauma in your life, I can wholeheartedly recommend Carolyn as the ‘go-to’ expert, who will help you overcome whatever it is you have experienced." - Phil
Carolyn Whitehouse - Financial Psychologist * Budgeting Coach* Speaker * Author
Carolyn Whitehouse is a Financial Psychologist, Budgeting Coach, Speaker and Author who supports ambitious and sensitive business owners to let go of self-doubt, charge their worth and release their fear of money. Carolyn’s heart-led approach combined with her unique Abundance Activator Framework, encourages her clients to discover their values, beliefs and stories around money, whilst releasing their financial wounds and trauma's. Drawing from personal money struggles when starting her own business, Carolyn combines her life-long passion for psychology and economics, with trauma-informed healing techniques, supporting clients in workshops, group programmes and working 1:1. She specialises in bringing order, balance and harmony to your bank account
Rewire Your Money, 17, Castledown Business Park, Tidworth Road, Lugershall, SP11 9AX, United Kingdom
Email: hello@carolynrwhitehouse.com
2024 Carolyn Whitehouse. All Rights Reserved. Do not duplicate or distribute without permission
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