How Does Financial Wounding And Trauma Occur?
Your relationship to money is established between the ages of 0-7 years old
It guides what consistent habits and behaviours you take to make money
It determines what goals you set and what you believe is possible
It contains your money stories, money blocks, beliefs, assumptions and vows
It determines how your body reacts to stress
Ultimately your Mindset determines how much money you will attract, receive and keep
In an ideal world everyone would develop an abundant mindset and be able to keep, receive and attract the money that they need and want, but for 48% of adults have experience an one or more Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE's) and that doesn't include the divorces, redundancies and other financial trauma's that adults face every day...
Which means that most of us have experienced some form of financial wounding or financial trauma
Sometimes, financial wounding can show up in sentences that begin with ‘I am …’, as you can see in this beautiful and eloquent video from Rikke Kjelgaard about how many of us struggle with these thoughts and feelings.
All of these statements impact our sense of power, possibility and potential when we come to take the actions needed to keep, attract and receive money
How Do You Know If You're Financially Wounded?
You'll say things like.....
" There's never enough money, time or energy "
" I don't have what it takes to be successful "
" I'm working really hard and getting nowhere "
" There's something wrong with me "
" I need other people to approve of me "
" I'm not good enough "
" I feel like I don't deserve anything good "
" I'm scared to go after what I want "
" I feel guilty or embarrassed about money "
" I should be better off by now "
Read More About Financial Wounding And Financial Trauma
How I became a Money Psychologist
How I Became A Money Psychologist
Carolyn Whitehouse
Money Psychologist Helping Ambitious and Kind Business Owners Feel Abundant, Confident and Relaxed With Money | Advanced Emotional Freedom Techniques Practitioner (EFT / Tapping)
July 11, 2024
In the beginning
I didn't set out to be a Money Psychologist but my early childhood was filled with anxiety and stress over money, even though my family was not poor. So I vowed to myself that I would work really hard and I create something different for my family. I spent 7 years building that business and then in 2011, the day after we took out our first mortgage, my husband was made redundant and I became THE main breadwinner.
How I coped
‘I’ll just work harder’ I thought and so each evening I would promise myself that things would be different. But every morning I woke up exhausted and by breakfast my mind was full of defeatism, negativity and hopelessness. My anxiety levels skyrocketed, I dreaded the mailman arriving as each day brought more bills. I ranted against the economy, my husbands ex-employer and the banks. From the outside I was putting on a brave face but inside I was falling apart. I had never felt so helpless and alone
Every day I would make plans and then get distracted and not follow them through. When everyone left the house, I would let my guard down and sob. When I wasn’t crying I was daydreaming, completely distracted and disorganised. My motivation plummeted so I stopped being visible in my business and made constant excuses about why I wasn’t making sales calls. I would spend my time looking for bargains online. I spent money to ‘treat’ myself’ and lied about how much I was spending which put a strain on our marriage. I was constantly snappy with my children, the slightest hiccup in our routine became a major incident. Listening to news stories about how bad things were, I convinced myself that things wouldn’t work, now just wasn’t the right time, nobody had any money! Even when I did earn money my immediate thought was ‘it’s not enough’. Life felt full of fear, anxiety and scarcity
Until finally one day I snapped. I couldn’t stand it any longer and I surrendered. 'I give up' I thought and then something miraculous happened. I found a peace that I didn’t know existed. In that moment I became connected to everything. I could see clearly how there was no separation, no lack, no loneliness. I felt a deep feeling of complete happiness and serenity that made me curious. 'How did I go from anxiety to peace' in a few milli-seconds? It was a question that took me back to University and I spent over 10 years learning how to rewire my scarcity mindset and create the happiness I wanted.
What I believe now
Rewiring your thoughts, feelings and behaviours are the essential keys to finding the peace, freedom, happiness and wealth that you’re searching for and The Abundance Activator Pathway will show you how
Less than 10 years later, we had paid off our mortgage, helped our children through university, travelled the world and my husband had retired at 55.
Today we have the financial security we want, our marriage is stronger than ever, and we have the time to do what we love.
For me that's helping kind-hearted business owners feel abundant, confident and capable with money, so that they can create the impact they want for their clients AND have the financial security for their families
Today money is still a vital resource in my life but my happiness is no longer dependent on it.
If you'd like to know more about my Abundance Activator Pathway or just want a friendly compassionate person to talk to about money, DM me and let's chat
How Have I Been Financially Wounded?
It's hard to say how you've been financially wounded because:
It all feels very familiar, these feelings, beliefs, behaviours and perceptions have a long history
The feelings are resistant to change, you can’t talk yourself out of them and no amount of training, hard work and education fixes it
Part of you knows that your feelings are irrational but that doesn’t help
Sometimes it feels as though much younger parts of yourself are ‘driving the bus’ and pulling you in different directions
You keep doing the same unhelpful things, getting the same financial results
If some (or all) of this resonates with you, I might be able to help
You were born to succeed!
If we are loved, valued, and protected as children, we will thrive in all areas of our lives
And these feelings become the foundation of our money mindset
If those qualities are in short supply, we learn quickly to work hard to get what we need....NOT WHAT WE WANT
Even if we grow up in loving homes, we might still get the idea that there is something wrong with us or bad about us. You don’t have to have abusive parents to feel there's something missing but because we only have our own experience to go on, that's our "normal".
Unfortunately, when we grow older and start our own businesses, those same unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviours come with us, whether we need them or not.
Time won't heal the feelings
Eventually, we might realise that something is wrong, when we keep struggling to raise our prices, do our taxes or ask for money. Other people seem to be able to keep, attract or receive more money than we do, and we start to look for ways to feel better
.
When we read business or self-help books, we might be inspired, but nothing changes
Talking about our problems often makes us feel worse
We might understand logically what happened, but that doesn’t seem to help us change who we are or how we feel NOW.
If time hasn’t already healed what is troubling you, more time is probably not going to heal it either.
The way our brains and minds work means that our early financial wounding is likely to affect us financially for years to come. Our old emotional patterns will repeat themselves time after time. Our inner critics will never tire and shame never seems to go away.
That’s not your fault. That’s just what our brains and minds do
.
You have tried to soothe the symptoms. Using TV, social media, eating, drinking, shopping for marketing courses or business coaches, and all the other soothing possibilities we have. The symtoms go away for a while, but they always come back when the soothing wears off.
You could try to avoid the problem, but by doing that your business doesn't grow. If you don’t think about it perhaps it will go away, but everytime you look at your bank account, it's there. Everytime you know you should make a call to a potential client, its there.
To reduce that suffering, you must undo the way your mind and brain created those problems, or they will continue.
The only way to solve the problem is to heal the financial wounding
It's NOT Your Fault!
Many people find it difficult to admit to themselves and others that they are struggling with financial issues. They may even feel ashamed that they have these difficulties or even believe they deserve to suffer.
Feelings of guilt and shame can make it difficult for them to look for help and choose someone to trust with their distress.
Because financial wounding is so long-lasting and pervasive, many people believe there is nothing they can do to change them.
There are good reasons why these kinds of problems are so entrenched and difficult to change. They are part of our body’s and brain’s built-in response to stress.
It’s not our fault; it’s the way we work.
But new therapeutic approaches can help change those responses and ease those problems.
When we can heal this financial wounding/trauma, we can change for the better in ways that we might find hard to imagine.
Are You Ready To Change?
Power
Possibility
Potential
Discover your true power to change your financial health and wellbeing. Claim your self-worth as you meet your financial needs and transform your relationship with money
Discover what is truly possible for you once you release and resolve those life experiences that have overwhelmed, disappointed or hurt you
Feel your motivation, confidence, purpose and focus improve as you begin to build bigger dreams from your clarity, creativity and vision
What Other People Say...
"After the first couple of sessions (all on zoom) I felt a sense of peace and self acceptance that I hadn't for years. My habits and behaviour around money have positively improved but the biggest freedom I feel is a release from past trauma.
I highly recommend starting with a discovery chat with Carolyn - and if you feel the nudge to work with her, follow that instinct and know you will become better equipped with tools and habits to serve you going forward in life.." - Joanne
"I had an illuminating & fun EFT business session with Carolyn - it's amazing how 'simple words' can attach feelings to them that may interfere with our lives (not just in our business). Let's just say - the possibilities have now become a big green tick for the future! Thanks Carolyn." - Chloe
"After experiencing a traumatic incident of my own, Carolyn had me back in a calm and serene state, where I was able to easily control my own emotions again.
If you are someone who has experienced any kind of trauma in your life, I can wholeheartedly recommend Carolyn as the ‘go-to’ expert, who will help you overcome whatever it is you have experienced." - Phil
Carolyn Whitehouse - Financial Psychologist * Budgeting Coach* Speaker * Author
Carolyn Whitehouse is a Financial Psychologist, Budgeting Coach, Speaker and Author who supports ambitious and sensitive business owners to let go of self-doubt, charge their worth and release their fear of money. Carolyn’s heart-led approach combined with her unique Abundance Activator Framework, encourages her clients to discover their values, beliefs and stories around money, whilst releasing their financial wounds and trauma's. Drawing from personal money struggles when starting her own business, Carolyn combines her life-long passion for psychology and economics, with trauma-informed healing techniques, supporting clients in workshops, group programmes and working 1:1. She specialises in bringing order, balance and harmony to your bank account
Rewire Your Money, 17, Castledown Business Park, Tidworth Road, Lugershall, SP11 9AX, United Kingdom
Email: hello@carolynrwhitehouse.com
2024 Carolyn Whitehouse. All Rights Reserved. Do not duplicate or distribute without permission
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