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6 Beliefs That Are Holding You Back

February 19, 20246 min read


Achieving your goals should be straight forward, shouldn't it? Do 3 simple steps - dream big, set goals and take action and you're good to go. But anyone who's ever set a goal and tried to achieve it knows it's not that easy. Why? What get's in the way? limiting beliefs and negative emotions that get in the way of you achieving what you want. Even if you can think positively and change your beliefs, an inability to manage your feelings will cause your goal setting to stumble and fall.

The 6 stages of the Wheel of Healing describes where the resistance you experience (based on your limiting beliefs) needs to be healed if you want to reach your goals; whether that's a money goal or any other type of goal. Depending on your life experiences, you may miss out certain stages or pass through some stages quicker than others, but we will go through these stages whether we're consciously aware of them or not. Now I want to point out that this is a continous process, an upward helix that never stops. Each time round the wheel you release more resistance so that the time it takes you to spot the limiting beliefs and release the negative emotions gets smaller each revolution. Evenso the truth of the saying "new level, same devil" means that each time we go around the Wheel of Healing you will meet deeper and more unconscious aspects of resistance that need to be healed and released as you move upwards towards your full potential

1. Desire

Whether you're consciously aware of it or not you as a human beings are always looking for your next thing, your next goal and that creates an internal urge to act. Maybe it's seeing your neighbour's new car or your friend's new outfit or maybe it's an advert on telly, but you are constantly being triggered to want more. If this urge to act is ignored or squashed for long periods of time you may become disatisfied, stressed or anxious, feelings which are designed to move you forwards into action. If you ignore the signals you stay at this point on the wheel and the anxiety grows. People can stay at this point on the wheel for their entire lives bumping up against their desires and then believing that they're not allowed to or don't deserve to have what they want and so they stay stuck.

Have you ever experienced this stuck stage?

If you choose to listen to your urge you might start to really connect with what it is you want. So the first limiting belief you'll come up against is "Do I believe that I can feel even better and enjoy my life even more? Now if you decide that yes it is possible for you to feel feel better, then you move onto the next level where you might start to dream about what's possible, what it might feel like to have achieved your goal and you begin to feel excitement that maybe it's possible.

Do you believe that you deserve more happiness and success?

2. Planning

At this stage you start to plan how you might achieve your goal, which might involve writing your goal down and making it SMART. You start to think about ways you could make this happen, what this goal would mean for you and this is when you come against your next limiting belief. The belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with you, which triggers the shame in your body that you took on at a very young age. Something happened back in your childhood (maybe more than once) that made you feel that you were not just naughty but bad at your core, and this belief triggers this worry that even if you do move towards your potential, it will somehow be not good enough. If you can dissolve the feelings of shame and bring compassion and kindness to your younger self then you can move onto the next stage.

What experiences have you had that made you pull back or hide?

3. Sharing

After you've planned your goal you might decide to begin sharing it with your friends and family and this is where the next limiting belief must be faced. "If I expand into my potential, then I'll be disloyal to my roots and leave behind people from the past". Healing this belief takes the cutting of the misguided vow to stay loyal to your family. To stay within your family paradigm and not succeed more than they did. But there can be two ways that this limiting belief can show up. One is by staying safely within your family norms or the second is to rebel and reject your family norms. Now if this vow is not cut then you return to the previous stage but now you have further proof that at some level you are fundamentally flawed.

Are you staying safely within your family norms (it often means that if your parents struggled with money you will too)? Or were you the "black sheep" of the family, the one who was going to do things differently?

4. Intuition

Once you've started sharing your vision for the future, you'll no doubt start to get hunches about what to do next. Your brain starts leading you in certain directions which moves you closer towards your goal and you start to experience some early successes. The next limiting belief you'll hit is "I don't deserve to be more successful because then I'll be an even bigger burden". This vow to not deserve contains all the guilt of being a burden in the past and causes us to pull back and hold back. Getting past this stage involves removing the mistaken guilt for being a burden in the past and a willingness to step into our power and claim our worthiness. If you succeed you progress towards taking more action which grows your confidence in achieving your goal.

What do you feel guilty about? What happened to make you feel that you were a burden to others?

5. Action

As you become more confident you take bigger and bolder steps which trigger the next limiting belief, the Fear of Shining Brightly, otherwise known as "Who do I think I am?". Transforming this belief requires you to reclaim your power, brilliance and gifts. To stop seeing yourself as less than others and start to place your needs and wants at the top of your priority list. Exposing the circumstances around when you were told you were too big for your boots helps you to begin to claim your genius. Failing to overcome this limiting belief keeps you hiding, holding back and playing small which creates more frustration and shame

Can you remember a time when you held yourself back? What did you do to reclaim your power?

6, Success

If you're able to heal this limiting belief then you continue to take action, remain flexible and open to feedback as you move towards your goal. That is until you hit a backlash which is the final test of your resolve takes the form of a final resistance around owning your power. If you're able to heal this then you reach your goal and the success you desired. Whilst there will be excitement, joy and satisfaction on achieving your goal, this may be short lived. Before too long another desire will enter in your mind and you'll be off round the wheel of healing again.

Happy Healing!

p.s. If you'd like to achieve your goals with less stress, book a free 30min Curiosity Call with Carolyn:

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